It's all over...

It's all over for me and him now... He just got a girlfriend that he just met in a bar... Wow! That was fast! Actually we haven't had a formal break up yet. Ugh... What the heck? But anyway, I kan see where is this going. The Lord is telling me something... I`m listening.

I miss him :(

It`s been a week AGAIN, that my boyfriend got mad at me and doesn`t talk to me. Well, it`s really sad and makes me mad a bit, because it is very immature because of not talking to me, not having time to talk for our problem, for it to be fix. But it just seems he doesn`t care at all... It hurts for me a lot because the reason why he`s mad is because his friends made a story about me and his old bestfriend. Liek that we were texting, flirting and that we had something special that no one knows and that something ad already happened to us. Honestly, yes we texted but there was nothing more than that. I am sure of what I am saying and there`s nothing I kan do about it anymore, because he told me LIKE ALWAYS, that he would never believe anything of what I`m saying. Now, last night I attempted again for the last time to try to talk to him, but it`s liek he doesn`t even bother of what I am going through, of what I am feeling and where will our relationship go? If he is still like that and all... But, it turned out, he just yelled at me and shouted bad words and it made me melt liek ice... It hurts! I know, he`s mad about it because he said why wouldn`t I be honest to him? And why does he had to hear it form others. Well, to explain to you clearly, this "friends" of his who made some fucked up stories about me, when we entered college, we met some new friends, and became close and all. But the wrong part that I had done is that I trusted them and showed my strong and weak points. So then before, they were the ones who made stories about my boyfriend, that now I am not sure if that all was true, but I don`t kare about it anymore because it was soo long ago and I don`t give a shit about it anymore. But when the time were our "friends" made me up a story, well, it just almost made my relationship wit my boyfriend destroyed. Well, it comes to be liek this again... I got other problems but my boyfriend is not there anymore to give a damn about me. Well, I`m on my own. But I am still currently working for his mom, everytime I am there at their place, he`s just around playing the computer, it just makes me cry sometimes while I`m working because he is just soo lazy! He doesn`t help his parents or some houseworks! He always go out at night and go home in the morning! It`s just weird to say why does he survive doing NOTHING in a day. Not completing anything or good goals for the day. And just being a couch potato, or just doing what he likes to do and when he wants it to do. I love him soo much but it`s just when I say to him those things he will just get mad at me. And it just hurts me because he is almost like my husband, and that I kare for him soo much eventhough I don`t kno if he is still thinking about me. Last night he broke my heart of the things he yelled and said to me, infront of my face. He is always like that. Now I don`t kno what to do, but to work and to work. I will be done working at their family business by the first week of october or 2nd week... I dunno. Then I will apply a new work which has the highest salary than my work at theirs, soo yea, now I could help to pay the rent here in our apartment. I will show him how I kan be responsible and that I am not a bitch-next-door who flirts while in a relationship. My goal now is to be successful and help my family financially. I kant wait to start working to my next work! But it`ll be sad that I will not see my boyfriend everyday when I start working there. But it`ll be okay. For me to grow up and to be mature. To use my knowledge in useful things. And to not waste my time into some bullshitty things. I`m 18 already, I want to be more mature, because I`m not that enough. I kant believe that I`m dealing this without my boyfriend, because he is currently wasting his time getting mad at me and having a good time wit his friends. I want to grow up wit my boyfriend, us learning grown-up stuffs. But it seems he`s not that interested. Guess I`m on my own now, in saving myself and my family`s problem. May the Good Lord help me and direct me in good path...

Another night of loneliness...

The last time I blogged, I wasn't having a good one and same as now. I haven't been to work for 3 days, and I don't kno what's going on wit my boyfriend. I had a chat wit him online earlier and I asked what was he doing the whole day and yesterdae and the other day, because i don't pretty much kno what was/is he doing. My reason of excuse for work, is because I have a feet injury, and he goes out, but he doesn't had the time to come here and see me but he only has the time for his friends. And tonight he'll be going out again, I told him howcome he goes out but doesn't bother to come here, but he says he doesn't have any money, which I kno it's true, but he can actually easily get a transportation. I`m just feeling down right now, because I don't kno what is he been doing, or it`s just i`m imagining some bad stuffs... I just miss him, but I just can't see that he misses me back :'( (sigh...) Anyway, i`ll just have a burger and just wish it`ll help my emotions up even a little. I really miss him, and that`s why I`m going to work tomorrow.

Too bad I missed couple of days that I felt sad, and I haven`t blogged it to help me out of it. But nevermind. Well, that`s for now. I`m feeling bad right now, physically, I have colds & a annoying cough... :O

Tired feet and tired hands

So today I went to work. (Finally!) Because I didn`t work in 4 days and I think I missed it. Well, earlier, I was actually late, and I got LOTS ta do so I finished em up and went fine. I also got tha chance to see my boyfriend, he was also tired cause he went to a VTR and he said it went fine too. Soo yea... After this blog i`ll be turning off the pc and I will be watching tv probably or whatsoever I kan do here, liek watching dvd or something. So that`s it! My legs are tired soo imma rest them. Imma go to work early tomorrow and do what I have to do liek I do everydae @work hehehe... Soo yea. Adios! Till then :) ♥

Annoyed

Today, I was annoyed by my boyfriend, when actually it was NOT my fault and I was telling the truth but he didn`t even bothered listening and believing.

It was because, yesterday, he gave me links on youtube to let me watch some of the videos we were interested on. It was about UFO's, End of the World and Jabbawockeez. (Were a BIG fan!) He asked me if I had watched all of the links he gave me and I said that I havent watched it all yet, because my brother was making me load the Dragonball Episodes online and he didnt want me to get on youtube cause it'll load slower. So my boyfriend was pissed when I told him I haven't watched it all, and doesn't believe me and telling that I had to say it was my brothers fault, but really it is, then he still ended up PISSED. And so, I`m annoyed because of that. Well, I just have to let it get off me thats why i`m blogging it. It helps you kno. So that`s it.

My first blog here.

Hey! This will be my private blogging area where I could type the things I feel and where I kan say probably everything!
I made an account here where no one would ever kno about this. This is where I plan to tell everything about my emotions and problems or happiness that I`m going through, when I don`t want someone to kno about it. Well, this`ll help me to be mature and so that I may kno what I had been going through wit my life. And I guess thats it! :)